Random Inspiration

Leadership Coaching

2009-06-09T23:49:00.004-05:00

"Why do I need life-coaching? I'm able to hear God and figure out what he wants me to do all by myself. That's for people who have no clue."

That's what I thought whenever someone mentioned I might want to talk to a person she knew who helped people through coaching. I was in the throws of not knowing exactly what God wanted me to do when I was considering getting some seminar training (to lead seminars for a particular ministry) but I was unable to finish the last task of the application process for some weird reason. I was praying, seeking God, and then I had a dream I believe was from God that cleared up some of the questions and gave me motivation and clarity to move forward into a new avenue of ministry and focus.

So, in this particular case, yes, I was able to hear God and figure out what he wants me to do with his help, but I've recently found an incredible benefit of this life-coaching that I've never even thought about previously.

I was asked several months ago to consider getting some training with a group of people in our church to coach others in leadership--especially those leading home teams or community groups as they are now called at New Hope. I was originally interested in getting one (a leadership coach) for me! I was one of those leaders (am one) who needs someone to listen to me, to encourage me and help me stay motivated to keep serving, but I never considered that I might be one of those people who could facilitate that also.

Fast forward to today....So, now I'm 8 weeks into the class; just 2 more to go. I have a peer-coach of my own who I also coach as our way of working out what we've learned and getting some good experience before we are released to try our own "powerful questions" and listening skills on other leaders. :) You know, I have never been so hopeful about a certain area of my life that I've been wanting to change for years. I have had the information in my head, and I even know what has worked for me in the past. However, I have been missing some very vital components for this transformation to happen that I am now receiving through my peer-coach's willingness to help me focus on accomplishing this goal!

Yes, it's early. I've only been officially working on this goal for a couple weeks, but I have my coach for at least 3 months and I'm going to take full advantage of her! There are other areas in my life that I have been wanting to see a change--like in my daily time with God in prayer and Bible study and just listening and journaling. Just because I know I will be asked every week how that is going and I know that I will need to be specific and give reasons why I didn't get to it because my peer-coach is standing in for God and is Jesus' representative to me--I'm sticking to it and REALLY enjoying it and hearing God speak to me on a regular basis. That is just the beginning, but I'm trying to keep it fairly simple to start with and celebrate the successes as they come.

I set my own goal; I set my own action steps; and I accomplish so much more already than by just saying to myself that "I need to start doing that."

I'll try to keep you posted, but if you have the opportunity to meet with a life-coach or a leadership coach who trusts in God to speak to his people, act now! Don't delay!

***I also want to put at the end of this a special thanks to Kristi Westergard who listened to God and brought the vision of leadership coaching to New Hope and Karen Bontrager who is an excellent teacher and coach herself. You two ladies have indeed brought something very special to me--focus, energy and motivation to accomplish a life-altering goal!

Bible Studies

2009-04-07T14:17:00.002-05:00

We had some really great discussion about raising our kids to know what God's word says about handling money and possessions and then the next week on investing, especially in heavenly treasure! God's really been working on Gabriel and I in the area of disciplining our children, allowing them to feel the weight of the consequences of their actions (without feeling the responsibility to save them/or guilt either). Oooohhh, have we been tried recently!

We had our last meeting on Thursday and will be celebrating our victory of getting through it with a brunch this week on Thursday at 10AM.

On the 16th, we'll be starting a very informal Bible study at my home at 10AM--kids in tow. We'll be going over the first part of the book called Desiring God's Own Heart: 1 & 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles (The New Inductive Study Series) by Kay Arthur. I have twelve books on order if anyone wants me to reserve a copy--the cost is $5.75 each. I believe you can also pick them up at your local Christian book store for a slightly higher cost. As I said, we'll only be studying the first part of the book, or just 1 Samuel, so we can finish by the time school is out for the year. It is very easy to continue on with the study on your own, and I would encourage you to do so during the summer months when most groups will not be meeting regularly.

Click here to get more information on the study guide.

Pictures of the children

2009-03-31T20:24:00.000-05:00

Last Two Sessions -- from Money (for women only)

2009-03-23T16:32:00.003-05:00

We're in the home stretch--just two more weeks of our Bible study on handling money and possessions! Are you hanging in there? Have you seen some fruit in your financial and/or personal life? Care to share????

We'll be covering an important aspect of finances that many of us went without as children--teaching our children the truth that we've learned from God's word about money and possessions. Even if you don't have children or they are fully grown and out of the house, you can still receive some great insight into discipling others and sharing His truth with others that have not heard these truths yet.

Next week, I'd love to have each of you share one or more of the blessings you have received or witnessed through this study. Maybe share a goal or two that you have for the future and the steps you plan to take as you reach for those goals. We're all on a journey toward growing closer to God, and none of us has reached the end, so let's encourage one another on to good deeds and following God's will for our lives and sharing with others the great things He has done! Be thinking of what you might like to share!

(note: this is not required but requested)

Counsel -- from Money (for women only)

2009-03-13T21:58:00.003-05:00

This week we're talking about seeking counsel or advice.

As women from this generation and the last few generations, we have been raised, in general, to be independent. Our teachers, our parents and mentors have encouraged us and the women's lib movement has taught us that we don't "need" a man or anyone else, that we are just as good or better than men. We're encouraged to get degrees and careers and focus on ourselves, to be dependent upon no one but ourselves. Now, parents raising their children, whether boys or girls, to be independent from their parents, to learn and grow and then let go, are serving their children well. However, we can swing to the far end of the pendulum in our Independence by not letting anyone help us or give us counsel or advice--especially in the sensitive area of personal finances.

Okay ladies, let's say your precious child or your dear pet gets sick and you don't know what to do for him. What do you do? You make an appointment with a doctor or a veterinarian so that he can take a look and make a diagnosis of the problem and prescribe treatment so that your child or pet can get better. Or, you go to books or the Internet to see if you can diagnose the problem yourself by seeking information that other people have written and made available to you. I have this book called The Portable Pediatrician that I went to all the time when any of my children were sick or hurt or something was just "not right." I've had the book since my daughter, Kate was an infant--about twelve years, and I'd always go back and check the information to see if it was something that I needed a professional's opinion and prescription for because I wasn't trained in medicine and I didn't have all the knowledge to make a good diagnosis or the ability to write a prescription for medication if necessary.

Even when our child or pet is well, we still make regular well-child visits or check-ups for them just to make sure that they are developing properly and that we aren't missing anything that might be detrimental to their health. We may not necessarily do this for ourselves, but these children or pets are entrusted to us and they depend on us to take good care of them. Our money and possessions have also been entrusted to us, girls, and we need to understand that we don't have all the information to make wise decisions all the time regarding these. Many times we need to seek the counsel of God as well as others in order to know the best course of action.

There are many different counselors and many different ways to receive counsel.

God is to be your #1 Counselor.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths." Keep on reading further in Proverbs 3, and you'll find even more relevant information on seeking His counsel.

John 14:16-17 "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor [Comforter, Encourager or Advocate], who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth."

God's word is our counselor: Psalm 119:97-105 says, "Oh, how I love your law! I think about it all day long. Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for your commands are my constant guide. Yes, I have more insight than my teachers, for I am always thinking of your decrees. I am even wiser than my elders, for I have kept your commandments. I have refused to walk on any path of evil, that I may remain obedient to your word. I haven't turned away from your laws, for you have taught me well. How sweet are your words to my taste; they are sweeter than honey. Your commandments give me understanding; no wonder I hate every false way of life. Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path." This is not saying that you always have to do the right thing or never stray off that path, but a life focused on God and His word will help you to stay on that path. Just like a lantern lights our way in a dark forest for only a few steps in front of us, God's word may only light our way a few steps so we have to keep trusting Him every step of the way!

Our Spouse is to be our #1 earthly counselor. When we are married, we become one flesh, one person with our spouse. We don't lose our identity, we become whole with him. When we make a financial decision, our husbands will be directly affected by that decision--the "bigger" the decision, the bigger the impact. This is why it is so important to keep up a good line of communication with our husbands especially in the area of finances where we struggle so much in our marriages. When you have an idea or want to make a decision about spending, saving, giving or just in budgeting, the best thing to do is to approach your spouse by letting him know what you've been thinking or what you would like to do and then just ask him what he thinks about it. Give him the opportunity to give his perspective, to ask questions and to even support you in that decision or give you new insight where you didn't necessarily see the entire picture. Even if it is merely to honor your husband, seek his counsel, and once you both have presented your sides and you have done your part, the final decision is ultimately in the hands of your husband. If it is not a godly decision, we are called to submit to our husbands anyway, but God will honor that submission and take care of you. (No, "I told you so's." I know I DO have a hard time not saying it, too!)

Our parents are also counselors to seek out. Whether they have a relationship with Jesus Christ or not, we should honor them by going to them, especially when making a difficult or major decision. Proverbs 23:22 says, "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don't despise your mother's experience when she is old. Get the truth and don't ever sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and discernment. The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure it is to have wise children. So give your parents joy! May she who gave you birth be happy." This doesn't say that the parents are necessarily wise, but the children are wise. Listen to your father and seek out your mother's experience and advice. You don' t have to follow it, but you will honor them by asking.

Here are more wonderful passages that talk about seeking counsel:

Proverbs 20:18 "Plans succeed through good counsel; don't go to war without the advice of others."

Proverbs 24:6 "So don't go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many counselors."

Proverbs 25:11 "Timely advice is as lovely as golden apples in a silver basket." I picture a white linen-covered table and in the center is a silver, wire basket or bowl that contains gold-colored apples--something you might see in a still-life painting. Peaceful, beautiful, enticing. Notice that it says "timely" advice. You can give good advice to someone else, but if you are not sensitive to the Holy Spirit and God's timing, you can make it out to be something very ugly. However, when you wait for the proper time, and many times that will only be when you are ASKED for your advice, will it be received and it be this beautiful picture.

Proverbs 27:9 "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." Many times you really have to have a trusting relationship in order to be able to give advice our counsel to someone. The person you are counseling needs to know that you have their best interests at heart before it will be received as this sweet perfume mentioned in this proverb. Sometimes we are called to just keep our mouths shut.

It can go the other direction, though, too. Proverbs 25:19 says that "Putting confidence in an unreliable person is like chewing with a toothache or walking on a broken foot." Painful. It is wise to seek the counsel of experts in a particular area, like doctors or lawyers or even financial advisers. However, we must remember that they are not necessarily walking in the will of God and can direct you in a path other than what God wants for you. We are to go to these people to get the necessary information to make a decision in light of what God's word says.

The main goal here is for us to humble ourselves before God and before others and seek out advice even if we think we've got it covered. You honor those from whom you seek counsel

Click here for this week's Bible study sheet: Counsel

***There will be no Bible study next Thursday, March 19, due to Spring Break in Wylie.***

We're reading in Money, Possessions & Eternity by Randy Alcorn through the end of the study. These next two weeks would be the perfect time to really get into this book. It has SOOOO much that will really make you think and speak to your heart. Please don't let this book intimidate you--just read a little at a time, but "steady plodding" will get you through it, and you will really love it!

Materialism -- an excerpt from Money, Possessions & Eternity by Randy Alcorn

2009-03-09T13:18:00.002-05:00

This is taken directly from Money, Possessions & Eternity by Randy Alcorn.

"John Wesley complained that too few preached against the sin of loving money, which he believed hindered revival:

'Wesley noted that in the old days of Methodism, the people were poor. But, he observed... many Methodists had become 20, 30, or even 100 times richer than they were at first. With this increase in wealth had come a decrease in godliness. It seemed to him the more money the Methodists had, the less they loved the Lord.'

When Jesus described the various kinds of people who respond to the gospel, he said that some seed 'fell among the thorns, which grew up and choked the plants' (Matthew 13:7). He later explained to the disciples, 'The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful' (Matthew 13:22). Notice the clear relationship between wealth and worry.

My wife and I have lived in the same house for twenty-five years. For the first nine years, we had an ugly, old, orange carpet. We didn't care what happened to it. Finally it wore through to the floor, so we replaced it. The first day we got our new carpet, there was an accident that burned a hole in it. Any day previous to that one we wouldn't have cared. But now our emotional energy was poured into regret and anxiety about the carpet. It takes time to hover over our things, and that time must come from elsewhere--from time we might spend cultivating intimacy with God, from time in his Word and prayer, time with family, time visiting the needy, time with people who need Christ. Every item I add to my possessions is one more thing to think about, talk about, clean, repair, display, rearrange, and replace when it goes bad.

I can't just buy a television. I have to hook up an antenna or subscribe to a cable service. Then I buy a DVD player and start renting or buying movies. Then I get surround-sound speakers and a recliner so I can watch everything in comfort. By then my neighbor has purchased a bigger screen TV, so it's my turn to upgrade. This all costs money and also takes immense amounts of time, energy, and attention. It isn't just the bad television programs that interfere with God's will for my life. Even if I could find only good programs to watch, the time I devote to my TV and its accessories means less time for communicating with my family, reading the Word, praying, opening our home, or ministering to the needy.

Acquiring a possession may also push me into redefining my priorities and make me unavailable for ministry. If I buy a boat, the problem isn't just the money. I must now justify my purchase by using the boat, which may mean frequent weekends away from church, making me unavailable to teach a Sunday school class, or work in the nursery, or lead a small group, or...fill in the blank. As Jesus said, worries and wealth can choke me, making me unfruitful."

Skip down a few paragraphs...

"In the parable of the great banquet, Jesus describes invitations that went out to three men (Luke 14:16-24). All three declined. One said he had to go look at his newly bought field. Another had just gotten married and didn't have the time. The third man had just purchased five yoke of oxen and was anxious to try them out. The master is angered by these excuses, and he orders his servants to 'go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.' Speaking of those originally invited, who were preoccupied with other concerns, Jesus said, 'I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet' (Luke 14:24).

There was nothing wrong with what any of the three men was involved in. They didn't stay away from the banquet because they were stealing or committing adultery. They stayed away because they had more pressing concerns--a new field, a new wife, a new herd. But regardless of their reasons--good or bad--the bottom line was the same: They were so preoccupied with their new treasures that they said no to the banquet giver and missed the banquet. Significantly, those without material resources were available to accept the invitation.

For what seemingly good, legitimate, and compelling reasons are you saying no to God? Are your possessions and other pressing concerns causing you to miss the banquet? How would you benefit, and how would God's kingdom be furthered, if you gave away those possessions?"

Honesty -- from Money (for women only)

2009-03-09T13:03:00.004-05:00

Ladies, we had quite a small group last week due to many sick children and members with other commitments, so we did not have a formal lesson this week. Those of us that were able to attend had a great discussion on what God is revealing to us and changing in us through His word, and I am so very encouraged!!!! God is so very, very good!

I just want to encourage each of you to remember how important honesty is to the Lord. Lying is an abomination in His eyes. A lying or flattering tongue hates those it speaks to. We are commanded to speak the truth in love. It's not always easy. In fact, sometimes being honest is downright very inconvenient, but the quality of our relationship with the Lord depends on it. We are called to be truthful with our friends and loved ones, but also in our business with others--buying and selling whatever.

Watch....be aware of what you say and think about why you say it. Remember Luke 16:10-13? "Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones. If you cheat even a little, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities. And if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven? And if you are not faithful with other people's money, why should you be trusted with money of your own? No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."

Continue reading The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Hopefully, you're just about done! :)

Click here for this week's lesson on Honesty.

Let's finish up those Income & Expenses worksheets so we can begin to adjust your budgets. If you would like to view the Percentage Guides that help in making adjustments, you can download those forms here: Crown Financial Ministries Pamphlets
You will need to choose that closest matches your current family size, and we are not considered to be in an area where housing costs are unusually high--just an fyi. I also have these forms available in class if you would like to get them on Thursday.

Saving--from Money (for women only)

2009-03-09T12:20:00.004-05:00

"Steady plodding brings prosperity; hasty speculation brings poverty." Proverbs 21:5 (TLB)

Steady. Steady working, steady spending less than you earn, steady giving, steady saving....consistency is what brings prosperity. Little by little.

In the Christian community, we have a few ways that saving is viewed. Some might say that because saving for the future is considered wise (particularly from many passages in Proverbs) that it is unwise to be very generous because you aren't preparing for the dangers to come. Others would say that if you're saving so much for the future, you're holding out on following God's command to give, especially sacrificially. Others would say that by saving, one lacks the faith that God would provide in your time of need. However, saving in itself is not necessarily a result of a lack of faith in God's provision. It's all a matter of the heart.

One heart may be saving out of fear, hoarding money and possessions to be able to provide for oneself against something that may or may not happen in the future. Or another heart saving in order to live quite comfortably in retirement in those greener pastures we hear about. One heart may be selfishly spending or carelessly giving away everything he has without any consideration as to what God's plan for the provision is. We must listen to the Holy Spirit, watch for the Lord's working, seeking out His counsel through prayer and reading the Bible in order to know what God wants us to do with His money and His things.

Really, saving IS considered wise:

Proverbs 30:24-25 says "There are four things on earth that are small but unusually wise: Ants--they aren't strong, but they store up food for the winter." And it goes on to discuss the wisdom of some other creatures. Joseph was an extremely wise manager who helped Egypt prepare for the coming famine that God revealed to the Pharaoh through a dream. Joseph listened to God's warning and prepared for the dangers, not out of fear, but in wisdom--you'll see more from Joseph in our Bible study from this week.

We save also so as not to presume upon God. What I mean is that we should not go and spend everything we get, or even give everything we get so as to presume that God will provide for us in our need when it comes--especially when it is the abundance that we are giving away that is to be our provision. How do you know how to handle that? That's why we are to make our spending, giving and saving decisions spiritual decisions, ones in which we seek the Lord on a daily basis to find out His plan. We make goals that we believe will honor God, and we need to continually put those before Him and allow Him to make changes as well as show His favor on us through helping us achieve those goals.

Whether we save a lot or a little, the way to keep our heart in the right place is to always walk with open hands--be ready to let some or all of it go when He calls. We don't want to become focused on this earthly treasure that rusts, gets eaten by moths or can be stolen, but we do want to focus on the heavenly treasure that God promises is waiting for us. Let's also not become like the Rich Fool in Luke 12:13-21:

"Then someone called from the crowd, 'Teacher, please tell my brother to divide our father's estate with me.' Jesus replied, 'Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?' Then he said, 'Beware! Don't be greedy for what you don't have. Real life is not measured by how much we own.' And he gave an illustration: 'A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. In fact, his barns were full to over-flowing. So he said, 'I know! I'll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I'll have room enough to store everything. And I'll sit back and say to myself, My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!' But God said to him, 'You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get it all? Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.'"

Some translations say "are not rich toward God." Yes, I think it's talking about having a rich relationship with God, but you also have to remember that Jesus really is talking about money and possessions here, and we also know that Jesus identifies himself with the poor and the needy from reading in Matthew 25. So when we are generous toward those that are hungry, thirsty, needing clothes, or visit the sick and those in prison, are we not being rich toward God? "I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!" Matt 25:40

What can you say? It is a balancing act that requires constant communication with the Lord, sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. Yes, spend less than you earn and give and save the rest. It's wise to save, but remember the widow and her two pennies? She was commended by Jesus for giving all that she had--more than what the religious leaders were giving and with a heart focused on pleasing God rather than following rules.

Finish up reading The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Next week, we'll begin reading Money, Possessions & Eternity by Randy Alcorn.

Click here for week 6 Bible study on Saving

Continue working on your 30-Day Diaries and filling out your Income & Expenses worksheet. We will begin to adjust our budgets as we finish the originals.

Borrowing from Money--for women only

2009-02-28T09:43:00.008-06:00

Today, we're just going to get right down to the nuts and bolts about borrowing and credit:

1. We become slaves to the person or bank that we borrow from

Proverbs 22:7 "Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender." The relationship changes. So whether you borrow from a bank or a finance company or your aunt & uncle or parents--your relationship with that person or company changes. Now you OWE them, and they know it. Every time you get together with family that you've borrowed from, they remember, they're watching you....they're watching you. With creditors, you legally obligate yourself to pay back the balance regardless of the terms, and you are no longer free to use that money for God's purposes.

This is one to memorize to help you when the temptation comes to use the credit card or take on another loan.

2. Taking out loans and buying stuff with credit cards is presuming on the future

We don't know what tomorrow will bring us. You see--we don't see!

James 4:13-17 says: "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."

Taking out a loan or using the credit card may be denying God the opportunity to provide for you in your need. His timing is perfect, and when we wait for Him, He is allowed to be our hero, our Provider. However, if we are impatient or feel we can "save" ourselves until the Lord provides, we deny Him the glory and an awesome testimony of how He came through for us.

3. Using plastic results in more spending

Regardless of whether we pay off the balance at the end of the month, statistics show that we spend 12-18% more when we use credit cards than with cash. When the stores offer a 10 or 15% discount, we spend 30% more because we're getting the discount. The stores are counting on you to do your part.

There is a psychological difference of handling cash which is tangible--when you run out you can't spend more cash. However, with the credit cards and loans, you just see numbers on a statement or in your mind and since you're borrowing already, what's the harm in borrowing a little bit more?
Just think of the difference in making auto purchases when we have cash rather than taking out a loan. For some of us, it seems impossible to be able to purchase a reliable car without getting a loan, so we go for whatever payments seem reasonable and get the best car for the payment. You will find, however, that what you REALLY can afford is what cash you have in your wallet or checking account.

You don't have to have a credit card. It's just not as necessary as the world would like us to think. Debit cards can be used in the same way as credit cards if they have the Visa or Mastercard logo on them. You can reserve a hotel room, a car, airline tickets, you name it. You also have the same liability protection as a Visa or Mastercard.

YOU are NOT your FICO score, Suze Orman says you are, but you are truly NOT your FICO score. You can secure a home loan without a FICO score, you can get insurance, an apartment, a job, etc. without "good credit." It may be a little trickier; you may have to find a manual underwriter for the loan you need to buy a home, but you don't have to have "good credit" to live in the United States or elsewhere. If more of us lived without it, that would become the norm--let's be revolutionaries!

4. Universal Default Clause

One thing you might not be aware of is what is called the Universal Default Clause that many credit card companies have in their back pockets--it's in the fine print. Let's say you default on your agreement to make your payment on time--even by one day. That credit lender has the option on raise your interest rate to 30-35% because of that one late payment. No warnings, no second chances--even if your payment record is pristine.

5. Cosigning for a loan shows a lack in judgment

There's a reason why the bank won't loan this person money, so they need to find someone who is less of a risk to guarantee that the loan will be paid.
You are legally responsible to pay back the loan if the other person flakes out on you, and statistics show that a great majority of those people WILL flake out on you, and you will be left to sell the possession and pay the balance or take over payments.
God gives us specific instructions on this one:
- Prov 6:1-5 "My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor [cosigned], if you have struck hands in pledge for another, if you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth, then do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor's hands: Go and humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbor! Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler."
- Prov 11:15 "He who puts up security for another will surely suffer, but whoever refuses to strike hands in pledge is safe."
- Prov 17:18 "A man lacking in judgment strikes hands in pledge and puts up security for his neighbor."

6. The Lord calls us to pay our debts

Read Romans 13:7-8

"Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law."

Balance, just like anything else in our lives, we can swing from one end of the spectrum to another. In personal finance, you can go from uninhibited spending to penny-pinching, miserly saving. From poverty-causing generosity to lonely-wealth and riches.

When we want to lose weight, we can get so focused on buying, preparing, counting calories or points, numbers on the scale or the tags of our clothes--so focused that we lose sight of our relationship with Jesus. Neglect, too, causes us to deny or reveals our denial that we need to use ANY kind of self-control.

Getting out of debt and staying out can be just as much a balancing act. Counting every penny, getting so on fire to get rid of the debt that we have little saved to pay for those "emergencies." The other end is to keep piling on the debt, seeing no way out and giving in to building up more and more debt.

In finances, just as in other areas of our lives, we need to maintain balance.

So if we're in debt, how do we go about getting out of debt?

1) Start with $1000 for an Emergency Fund -- break the cycle of debt (don't skip this one)

Ways to build this quickly is to have garage sale, secure a second job, start a home-based business, sell possessions on ebay.com or craigslist.org. You can always find these things later when you have saved up cash to purchase them if they are still needed.

2) Prepare a budget

We talked about spending in the previous week, and homework throughout this study has been to build up to the point where we can view our current budget and soon adjust to one that will help us achieve our financial goals

One thing I recommend as you're paying off debt is to stop 401K or other investment contributions until you have paid off everything but the house and have 3-6 months of expenses saved for your "fully-funded" emergency fund.

3) Make a list of all your debts

Having it all out there in front of you on paper may be a little bit daunting, but it is also freeing to see that maybe it's not really as bad as you thought it was.
You can also now call the credit card companies to negotiate a lower interest rate. If you have been on time with your payments and have a good history with them, they are more likely going to work with you--especially if you suggest that you may be looking to transfer your balance to another card.

4) Put any extra money on smallest debt while making minimum on others

First you will need to do everything you can to get current if you are behind on payments.
Once you are current, you will want to pay only the minimums on all your debts except for one--the smallest balance. On that one you will put ANY extra money that you are able to pay your debt on top of the minimum payment. You will continue like this until the smallest balance is paid off.

It is very ineffective to spread the money to pay off debt around to several cards or loans. Focus the money on one and pay it off as quickly as you can. It is great motivation to continue when you can close that first account, and you have one less debt to worry about paying on time.
Once the smallest debt is paid, you transfer all that you were paying on that one to the second smallest debts minimum payment. You continue this until it is paid off and you continue rolling along and building your payments without having to actually pay more than you were at the beginning.
Do this for everything but the house. If you have a mortgage, it is wise to pay off the house, but it is generally not included in the debt snowball.

5) Increase Emergency Fund to 3-6 months expenses (not income)

The money used to pay down debt can be rolled into savings until you have it fully funded.

You can find much more detail in The Total Money Makeover which I highly recommend you read after you have read The Treasure Principle.

This week's Bible study can be found by clicking on this link: Borrowing

This week's homework is to fill out the Income & Expenses worksheet with the information gathered from the 30-Day Diary. If you have not completed the 30-Day Diary, just hold on to this one and fill it out when you are ready.

Download it here: Income & Expenses worksheet. You can also find other helpful materials on the Crown Financial Ministries website at Crown.org.

Notes on Debt Delayed

2009-02-25T16:45:00.005-06:00

Forgive me, ladies, for not posting last week's notes and homework yet on the blog. It's been a bit of a rough week with lots of distractions. I will have extra hand-outs on Thursday if you would like to get them then. I hope to post the notes this weekend for both sessions.

Spending (from Money for women only)

2009-02-11T14:03:00.010-06:00

Let's imagine that you need to go to the doctor's office because you're really sick, but you don't know what's wrong. Your husband is going to drive you, and you're pretty sure he knows how to get there. You have exactly 35 minutes until your appointment time and you remember that it takes you 30 minutes to drive there under normal conditions.

So, you get in the car and you're on your way. On the way, your husband decides you MUST stop to get gas and a coke even though you have 1/2 a tank, and then when you're back on the road, he makes a left turn when he should have gone straight, and you're thinking, "He must know a short-cut, so I'll just wait and see how we get there going this way." He takes a couple more turns and you end up on a lonely country road in the middle of nowhere, and now it's 10 minutes until your appointment. Now, you start to ask him questions like, "What street is this?" and "Where are we going?" and saying, "I don't think this is the way."

Your husband was thinking this the entire time, but he was afraid to say anything either because he didn't want to appear foolish.

Now, you're late for your appointment and totally lost--and you're both frustrated, stressed and you're starting to really feel awful--because you're sick, remember?

What happened here? You KNEW how to get there, but you didn't make sure your husband was on the same page. You didn't ask him any questions or let him know your time constraints. You didn't say anything when he started making wrong turns. He didn't have the same plan you did, but you didn't know that because you didn't communicate the plan before you left.

That's a lot like how we budget and spend our money (God's money). We have a plan in our head as to how we're going to spend the money, but we don't effectively communicate it to our spouses. Either they don't care or assume you're handling it pretty well because you haven't said anything.

A written budget is a "spending PLAN." Let me repeat that... A written (on paper) budget is a spending plan made out before you spend the money--BEST discussed by husband and wife together. Written or typed so that you can review it and check the numbers so that it's not just a guess or estimate, and when something else pops up, it doesn't throw everything out of whack.

"Plan to spend" -- that reminds me of when we were pinching every single penny to pay off our debt, and I would tell Gabriel I was going to the grocery store, and he would reply by saying, "Don't spend any money." Well, I certainly can't get EVERYTHING for free, and we had children to feed--I had to have a plan because I WAS going to spend money, but without a list or plan, I would spend WAY more than I had hoped.

Did you know that God was a big planner? Very detailed, too.

Most of you know Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

What about Psalm 40:5?

O LORD my God, you have done many miracles for us. Your plans for us are too numerous to list. If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them."

He wants us to make plans, too, but plans that are for HIS glory. Listen to Psalm 20:4-5:

"May he grant your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans. May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory, flying banners to honor our God. May the LORD answer all your prayers."

So if we look at our budget as a spending plan to honor God, it's not that four-letter word you think of when you hear the word "budget." It's instead a plan for FREEDOM!

This is what we do when we make a written budget:

Plan for the expected & unexpected

Proverbs 22:3 says, "A prudent person foresees the danger ahead and takes precautions; the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences."
Plan for wise spending (budget, impulse list & wants vs needs)
Plan to get out and stay out of debt
Plan to give

These things don't usually just happen to you--like Keith's message on Sunday, we have to be intentional and "prepare our minds for action" and initiate the plan, the change, yes, the cut-backs or sacrifices necessary to make the plan work. You don't want to make the plan so rigid that you cannot follow it without a mistake here or there--you need to make changes monthly because a budget will not remain the same unless all your spending and income always remain exactly the same.

Now, I said that a budget is a plan for freedom--let's take a look at that:

How much freedom is there when there's only $10 in the bank and you need to buy food for the week to feed your family? If you're like me--this can make you feel like a failure, guilty for not being able to give your family the healthy meals they need to thrive. Think of what it does for your husband when he feels like all the work he's doing comes to this! Or maybe you don't have enough money to pay for the course you need to finish your degree or get ahead in your career or fix things around the house when they get broken? Any way you look at it, that feeling you get when you realize that you've not planned well with the money God has given you is NOT freedom.

There really is freedom in realistic, careful planning, and discipline to stick with that plan and revise it often while communicating with your spouse, asking him for his input---these things help you get where you want to go, where God wants you. For example, look at the Goal Setting exercise you received last week and hopefully got some work done on it--where are you headed?

Proverbs 21:20 says,

"In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has."

Let's plan how we're going to spend His resources before we foolishly spend whatever we get.

This week we will begin reading The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. We will spend a few weeks on this one, so if you haven't read The Treasure Principle yet or Your Money Counts, you still have some time to get one in. Check around, you might be able to borrow a copy if you have not purchased one already.

Click for Bible study for the week: Week 4 -- Spending

I'm going to give you all a break in homework in order for you to catch up on the previous weeks' homework (taking inventory, filling out the financial statement, recording expenses, writing down goals and discussing them with your spouse, etc.). You can also take this time to catch up on your recommended reading. Once you have enough information on your 30-Day Diary, we can compile your current budget, so don't delay!

Work (from Money for women only)

2009-02-04T15:40:00.005-06:00

Have you ever worked really hard and found that you were quite productive only to look around at your co-workers, employees, family or husbands who were all just sitting around playing, sleeping or just lounging around? Or that no one notices how hard you've been working or rewards your accomplishments? And have you ever just resented them so much that you got so angry you wanted to yell or scream or cry?

That's where I was on Saturday.

You see, I had been rudely awakened by my cat when I wanted to sleep in, but I got up and decided to have my quiet time with God before everyone got up and distracted me.

Then, starting at 7AM, I was on the move--beginning with whipping up some yummy waffles for the whole family; then, I've been working really hard these past couple of weeks trying to keep the kitchen clean all the time, so I cleaned up everything in the kitchen after I slaved over the waffle iron making extra for the week to come, too. Once the kitchen was clean, it was time to get the kids moving! While hubby was working/playing with his musical-electronic equipment, I was playing drill sergeant to four children ages 4 to 12 who had no inclination to do ANY work on a Saturday morning. Overseeing making of beds, cleaning the bedrooms and bathroom, and sorting clothes for the laundry takes more energy out of me than actually doing it myself!

Once their laundry was sorted, it was time for me to do load after load of their laundry which may or may not actually make it to the closet and the dresser when it's finished.

In between loads, I sat down at the computer to work on the budget, log expenses and pay bills. Stressing that Gabriel wanted to go to some high-end shoe store to buy running shoes! Can we say "dollar signs"???? Very relieved when he decides not to go there and scale it down a little....whew.

After that, cooking lunch and yes, cleaning up the kitchen again afterwards. I cut coupons and got my list ready to go to the grocery store, cleaned our bathroom (okay--not really cleaning--just a little bit of tidying up), swept the kitchen, fed and watered the cat, picked up cat poop since the cat wasn't having such a great day either.

Then it comes; we were going to go out on a date that night (just a short one to let Kate--our 12-year old--babysit), and I asked if we would go before or after the kids were in bed---hoping he would say we could go out to eat--then I don't have to cook and clean up after everyone. (I didn't say it---was hoping it would be his idea.) No. He says, later as I'm dragging stuff out to cook something, that since I'm going to cook, I might as well cook for everyone--so my take on that was, "Go ahead and work, and we'll go out later," on his day off--not mine.

Yeah, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself--to the point of tears in front of the garage door--crying out to God. Yes, I was in the garage so no one would think to walk in on me while I'm in the middle of complaining to my Father--telling on my husband and children.

I knew that when I was talking with Him that I was going through the pain of feeling unnoticed, unrewarded and alone--to bring this to you because I have no doubt that each and every one of you has felt that way at one time or another.

You work and you work and you work and the ones around you skate by on doing very little. OR...your hard work goes unnoticed and unrewarded. You've managed to do something pretty special, but no one is sensitive enough to do something to make you FEEL special.

As I'm standing there, seeking God for comfort in the garage, I hear Him saying to me, "It's not for Him to reward you. I'm your boss."

For you see, He knows I know that. I know it, but it still hurts my feelings when my husband after 15 years still doesn't anticipate my needs and do everything he can to fulfill them all. Yeah, I learned that my expectations of my husband have been too high--I've put him in the place of God in that regard, and that's messed up! Only God is the one who says He'll provide for ALL my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus--and He's the only one who can prove it.

Here's the key verse for this morning: Colossians 3:22-24

"Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord."

Now, how is it that we show reverence for God when we "do what we're told" for our earthly boss even when he's not around to notice? I'm not saying our husbands are necessarily our masters, but when we seek his favor, is that not kind of what we're doing?

Paul explains it further in verses 23 & 24

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

We need to act like we're working for Christ, even if it's a total drag and seemingly unrewarding, because Jesus really is our boss and He is the one who will reward us and of whom we should be seeking favor. See, we show him reverence because we are seeking to please Him by pleasing our earthly boss when he's watching and when he's not. When our husband notices and when he doesn't.

There's more to it, too. Did you know that since Christ is our boss, and our husband's boss, that only Christ has the power to hire and fire employees, promote and demote, and to give raises to those who work diligently?

Psalm 75:6-7 says, "No one from the east or the west or from the desert can exalt a man. But it is God who judges: He brings one down, he exalts another."

God provides the work, God provides the strength to work, God provides the income from the work, God provides.

There was one instance after Gabriel and I had understood this principle for some time that we decided together that Gabriel should ask for a raise at work. However, he did not approach his earthly boss first, we both asked God for wisdom and also for provision for an increase in income. Then, after some research and preparation, Gabriel approached his boss, and he was given no encouragement whatsoever--he basically said, "It doesn't look good, now's not a great time."

However, we did not take that as discouragement, we continued to pray for God's provision, and the next day, Gabriel's boss came back with good news! There was no indication of how much it would be or when it would be, but that there was going to be some reward coming. After more prayer when things didn't look like they'd go through, the Lord rewarded Gabriel with a real blessing, honoring Gabriel's effort and faith. Even when things don't look good for the company you work for, or when you're out of work and it doesn't seem like anyone is hiring--remember, it's the Lord who is your Master, who hires and fires, who brings down and raises up. He's the one who rewards your work and your faith.

There is so much more I want to share with you about work from Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 that we just don't have time for, but I do want to share this...

Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, work outside the home full- or part-time, own your own business or volunteer your time--the common thread is that we women DO work, and we do need to avoid idleness but also get the proper rest, too. Whatever you do, work hard and cheerful, but don't try to do more than you are able to, and trust God that when you take that one day off that He will provide for you through your work on the other six days.

So, when you're feeling like you're working and no one else is, ask for help, let them know what you'd like them to do (if it's within your power to do that). Don't expect them to read your mind or do something you haven't asked them to do yet and don't expect praise and reward from them, but seek the Lord and seek his favor and know you will be rewarded with a great inheritance. "It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

At this point, Marge King came up to give a short testimony on her experience with work and with giving which is the subject we covered last week. Again, I will not include the testimony here--make sure to ask her sometime!

Our homework for the week can be downloaded here:

Week 3 Bible Study -- Work

Goal Setting Exercise

(Print two of the Goal Setting Exercise if your husband would like to work on this separately, then you can come together to discuss and prioritize your goals.)

We're still reading through Your Money Counts by Howard Dayton and will discuss more next week. Have an awesome week!

Bible Study & Homework now downloadable!

2009-02-03T21:05:00.003-06:00

I am now able to post the weekly Bible study and homework assignments online without having to e-mail them thanks to my super-smart, absolutely fantastic husband, Gabriel! You can now receive all you need for the Bible study here each week. Please feel free to let me know if you have any trouble or have any questions.

God's Job vs. My Job Bible study (week 1)

Quit Claim Deed fill in items of value as well as children and pets that you are transferring ownership over to God, sign and have witnessed

Inventory Homework

Giving Bible study (week 2)

Net Worth help (handy definitions) and Financial Statement form (use the information from the Inventory to complete this page)

30-Day Diary to record expenses (every penny--cash, check, charge, debt, etc.) . You do not need to fill in "budgeted" amounts yet unless you choose to.

*Financial Statement and 30-Day Diary provided by Crown Financial Ministries website www.crown.org

Recommended Book (from Money for Women Only)

2009-02-03T14:49:00.002-06:00

The next book in our study that we will read is Your Money Counts by Howard Dayton. If you have not finished The Treasure Principle, I would encourage you to read that one first and then proceed to this book. If you read it and would like to chat about it, please drop me a line! :)

Giving (from Money for women only)

2009-02-03T12:51:00.008-06:00

We started off Thursday morning's session with an object lesson. I'll have to describe it here, but know it was way better in person. :)

Each person had a card (or two or three) with a budget item written on it and a corresponding dollar amount. Two women (who claimed to be pretty good at math) volunteered to act as the married couple who would be making the budget decisions. I acted on the behalf of God, and another woman (who had the taxes card) acted as the employer.

So, pretending that I was God, I handed over $1,000 cash (real money) to the employer to give to the couple. She did this and in turn, the couple was forced to pay their taxes of $100. (We may never actually have that money in our hand because it is taken out before the check is deposited into our accounts; however, we DO receive the gross amount but immediately pay our taxes and insurance and our 401K contributions, etc. and it is ALL considered our income.)

Next, some of the women held up their cards for the couple to decide which bills to pay--like cell phone, eating out, entertainment, home decor, etc. Not all of the women were paid, so we went to the next set of women who held up their cards. These were items like debt, insurance, maintenance, etc. Again, not all of the bills were paid--the couple was wisely waiting to see what else they would be required to pay. So the third group of women raised their cards to request payment. These included mortgage, food, electricity, clothing--the necessities, and once several of those were paid, I raised my card--the tithe of $100.

At this point, the couple had about $170 left in their hands and had several other bills that had not been paid. It was a struggle to decide what to do, and our couple eventually came to the decision that they would give the whole amount, $100, to God, even though very little money was left to pay for debt and some of the other bills.

The question then came, "How difficult would it have been to pay the tithe if I had raised my card first instead of at the end?" Waiting until the end of the month to see if there would be money left to give to God is actually CAUSING us to not give. If we give the first 10% to Him right off the bat, we are able to make decisions to pay the bills with the 90% that's left according to the priorities of necessities first, wants and luxuries after that--and sometimes the bills don't ALL get paid, but as time goes on and we are obedient in giving and spending and saving wisely we are able to have money at the end of the month and then some.

(Using cash in hand actually makes a big difference when you're making spending decisions.)

To the rest of the lesson:

Last week I shared with you the principle that God has a job with respect to our finances and you have a job as well. God is 1) the Owner of everything, 2) He is the Provider of everything and 3) He is the Ruler of everything--our job is to be faithful managers of everything he puts in our possession. When we stick to our job and don't try to take on God's responsibilities, we experience a great deal of peace and freedom!

Now we understand that everything belongs to God--in 1 Chronicles 29:11-12 we studied what David had to say as He praised God for the provision to build the Temple and the role God plays as the owner, provider and ruler. Okay, so what do YOU have that belongs to God? What about your checkbook? Savings account? IRA or 401K that may be in the dumps right now? What about birthday money?

How different is a paycheck in your bank account? Does God not own that too? Does He not give instruction on that? Yes, He does, and we have to seek His word to find it because we have not been thoroughly taught.

Now I'm not here to crack down on you if you're not giving 10%. However, the "tithe" means 10%. If you're giving less than 10%, it's not a "tithe," it's an offering. If you're giving more than the "tithe," you're giving the tithe plus an offering on top of that and that is your choice. We START at the tithe as the baby step and then increase our giving as God leads us to do so. Pastor Keith has taught much on giving the tithe at the end of 2008, so I won't go into too much of this aspect of giving. I do want to bring to your attention a few things, though:

In Genesis 14 Abraham is the first person noted to give to a priest of God Most High. He gave a tenth of all the goods he recovered from his victory over the King of Elam. Not until much later, when Moses was give the Law after being freed from slavery in Egypt, were the tithe and freewill offerings required of the Israelites.

We do need to be careful not to become legalistic like the Pharisees in this--like the Pharisee in Luke 18 that when looking at the tax collector in the Temple said:

"I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like that tax collector over there! For I never cheat, I don't sin, I don't commit adultery. I fast twice a week and give you a tenth of my income." Luke 18:11-12

Jesus said, too, that "...you should tithe, yes, but you should not leave undone the more important things" like justice and mercy. (Matthew 23:23) He does not relieve us from our spiritual need to give to God the tithe merely because we are no longer under the Law. The tithe came about WAY before the Law, but we need to maintain a balance with giving and not forget to be merciful and kind, revealing the fruit of the Spirit in its many aspects: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Other kinds of giving:

Giving to the poor and the needy, the widows and the orphans is high on God's priority list. He is passionate about this subject and wants to use us to help fulfill their needs. We're just going to scratch the surface with this--with a couple of examples that we also touched on last week.

Matthew 19:21 Jesus said to the rich young man who wants to know how to have eternal life, "...sell all you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

Jesus knew this man's heart. He knew that money was going to be the hard thing for him to give up to follow Christ. What does Jesus say to do with it? Give it to the poor--those in need.

Matthew 25:31-46 talks about when you give food to someone who is hungry or give water to a person who is thirsty, or care for them when they're sick or visit them in prison--when you give to someone who is in need, you're really giving to Christ himself.

Now, let's turn to Acts 2:42-47. We see the early church right after Pentecost:

"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

Again, we see in Acts 4:32-35 more outpouring of this understanding that we own nothing and give to those who are in need:

"All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and mush grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need."

Thus follows an example in verses 36 and 37:

Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles' feet."

This was not a command that all believers must do as the early Christians did. I don't believe they were giving up their own basic necessities so someone else could have them, but they were sacrificing maybe larger homes and downsizing, selling off land they did not need in order to bring in an income, possessions that had value that they truly didn't need. They took the money they received for the sale of these possessions, knowing that "what they owned was not their own," to make sure that no one was lacking any necessity (food, shelter, clothing).

This was not a command--they were not required to do this. They chose to do so.

Seems pretty radical, doesn't it? Now we're not called to live completely without, and we're not called to be materialistic either -- there is a balance that the Holy Spirit brings when we seek God out for our daily decisions regarding spending, saving AND giving. We have to start letting go of what keeps us from having that "eternal life" that the rich young man desperately wanted--that we truly want!

At this point, I asked Amie Johnson to share her testimony regarding giving and also on her experience after understanding the difference between God's job and her job as a steward or manager of God's money and possessions. Amie is one of our small group leaders and has led a study using the book Money, Possessions and Eternity and has a passion to see others set free in this area of their lives. (She did a wonderful job at sharing, but I will not include that here--you'll have to ask her sometime!)

**Our homework for the week was to begin recording expenses on our 30-Day Diary--to the last penny. I have included a link in the previous blog post you can click on to print off a copy of your own if you like. We also received the Financial Statement form or Net Worth Evaluation to be used with the information taken from the Inventory we filled out last week. There is also a take-home Bible study sheet for this week that I can e-mail to anyone who would like to request it. (I'm still trying to figure out a good way to post it here to make it that much easier for you to access.)

Tools for assessing your current financial situation (from Money for women only)

2009-02-03T12:08:00.006-06:00

I wanted to post some links on here to the homework I have given these past two weeks. Anyone can use them--they are free to download from the Crown Financial Ministries website.

30-DayDiary.pdf

The 30-Day Diary is for you to write down ALL your expenses, to the penny. The easiest way to do it is to keep your receipts and at the end of each day, sit down and record them all in the proper categories. You do not have to write down the "budgeted amount" at this time, although you can.

We want to track what we ACTUALLY spend in order to come up
with our current budget and then adjust it from there.  Don't
forget to get your husband's expenses, too--have him either give
you the receipts or write it down himself.  (use pencil)  ;)

FinancialStatement.pdf

We use our information from the Inventory we took last week and compile the totals for the assets (the things we OWN) and the liabilities (things we OWE) and subtract the liabilities from the assets. Don't worry about whether you are in the negative or come close to zero. As we go along, you will be able to turn it around with the Lord's help for some good changes that are coming.

Once you have completed the Inventory and Financial Statement, you can begin to determine if there is anything you have that you can sell in order to fund your emergency fund (which we will talk about this week), pay off debt, or pay for something that is a need for you or your family.

God's Job vs. My Job (from Money for women only)

2009-02-01T11:31:00.018-06:00

I've come across a lot of women who were unable to join us for our morning Bible study but would like to get the teaching, but I'm not doing video or recording it right now. So I had this idea that I would blog my lessons each week and see how that goes. (This does not include the take-home Bible studies or the homework--just the "message.")

Before we get started on talking about finances, I have to encourage all of you ladies out there (and husbands too!) that communication with your spouse is key when it comes to finances. You may be learning a lot and you may have a major breakthrough in your perception, but our spouses are not going to get it if we beat them over the head with it, make accusations or generalizations. All marriages could benefit from improved communication skills of the husband and the wife--all relationships, really. What you learn from this course, take it, share it with your husbands, but remember that the changes we're after here are initially for YOU. We'll dance and celebrate when you're both on the same page, though!!!

For all of you that are married, I'm sure you've already experienced the stress that comes in the area of personal finances--mostly when there's not enough money to go around and debt begins to pile up. These financial issues cause a huge strain on a marriage and are the leading cause of divorce in our nation, but we want to combat this force with the knowledge and understanding of the word of God and with prayer.

In fact, one of the reasons we deal poorly with money is that we don't know what our role in finances really is--or that there is even a division of roles. Most of us have not had the job training for this and we get totally mixed up by taking on responsibilities that don't belong to us. God has designed a system for us in which he has a job and we have a totally different job--want to know what they are? Keep reading....

All throughout Scripture, God lines out three main categories that He takes on as His job:

God is the Owner (of everything)

Psalm 24:1-2 says "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters."

OK, everything.... that's so incredibly huge, so general, so big and unfathomable in begins to fade out of my mind before it sinks in and well, I just forget and don't think about it anymore....it's just TOO big. But wait! He's not just the owner of everything in general, He says in Haggai 2:8 that "The silver is mine and the gold is mine," he says He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, the animals in the field, the little sparrow, he owns you and me. He says that the land is His and that it will not be sold permanently because, really, God never transferred over ownership to anyone. You may have that silver and gold in your possession, but it still BELONGS to God and always will.

So we understand that the first aspect of God's job is to be the owner of everything, let's look at the second aspect.

God is the Provider (of everything)

Picture a little infant. He can't feed, clothe, shelter or care for himself and is totally dependant on the care and provision of his parents. God looks up on in much the same way--as His little ones who need Him to provide for everything we need, and He's really the only one that can do that kind of job for us. In fact, God wants to be the one to do that for you and delights when you ask Him.

Philippians 4:19 says "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." [emphasis mine]

His glorious riches---God's provision never runs out. There is nothing that He can't and won't do for you when it comes to providing for your needs. Can He not then afford to provide you with food, necessary clothing and basic shelter? Our God is not poor and does not have to ration His supplies--His supplies never end!

If God is the Owner of everything and the Provider of everything, what is the third aspect of God's job that we need to be aware of?

God is the Ruler (of everything) He's in control.

In this sense, God is like the President, only the President of the universe with Super-Duper power. We read in 1 Chronicles 29:11-12:
"Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours.[He is WAY cool! Everything belongs to Him.]
Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. [He's the KING--He is the highest in the chain of command and there is no one like Him] Wealth and honor come from you [We receive money and respect or recognition by others from Him]; you are the ruler of all things.[There is nothing beyond His rule] In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. [He has the power to raise our rank, power, or character and to give us strength to do what He calls us to.]

There is nothing that happens that He doesn't know about, that He doesn't allow. He's sovereign and in control.

I want to share a story about how I came to understand this truth about God's job. Back in 2003, my husband, Gabriel and I were working diligently to squeeze out every penny we could in order to pay down a huge pile of debt by working with our own plan and budget. It was going okay, but Gabriel's estimation of the time it would take to be free of the debt was SEVEN YEARS! That in itself was incredibly depressing. So I would look in every area of our budget to see where we might be able to cut back to make it go a little faster.

We had bought a small, 1200 sqft home in Duncanville in July of 1998 when it was just the tree of us, Gabriel, Kate and myself. Kate was only 1-1/2 but she needed room to play and since I am a stay-at-home mom, she needed a place to run and play during the day. The house was small and not in the best of neighborhoods, but the back yard--oh, it was wonderful! It had a huge mulberry tree that shaded almost the entire yard; it was flat, fenced in, had a covered porch, and almost immediately, we had a swing set and sand box all set up for Kate and then Jacob when he came along in 2000. Becca arrived in the summer of 2002 and shortly thereafter--the minivan.

In the summer of 2003 we were staying with my in-laws in Tennessee for a week as our "vacation" in order to spend time with family (and we couldn't afford to really do anything else). My father-in-law is a CPA and happened to have a copy of Larry Burkett's The World's Easiest Guide to Finances on one of his shelves. I picked it up and devoured it, especially the chapters on how to save money and ways to pay down debt. I learned to look closer at your auto insurance policy and call around, cut coverage here and there, ways to use coupons for groceries, freeze some foods after you buy them on sale to have for later, turning back your thermostat in the winter and raising it in the summer, etc. Those were all great tips I would take back home with me and use them right away. However, there was one thing Burkett said that looked impossible to me--he said that if you have equity in the house (meaning you can sell it for more than you owe on it), you could sell the house, pay off debt with the profit and then rent an apartment while you save money to buy a house in the future.

The math was all there. Yeah, that would work, but.... what about the big back yard? An apartment with three children? It was pretty crowded with just one--how would we fit in a 800 sqft apartment with crying children? "No, no, no, no. That's just not going to work for us," I thought. So I decided to keep focusing on cutting back on expenses to try to pay down the debt. How absurd...sell the house... sure, that would work for a couple who's kids have already left the nest, but not for a family with a bunch of young children. Not us.

We returned home from our vacation, and I began to research the Internet for more of Larry Burkett's books and Bible studies. I was wanting to go through one, and since I happen to lead Bible studies (for women) at the church I attended, I thought I would get the leader's guide and do it there. I found one that looked like exactly what I wanted--one that showed results of life change. It was called the Crown Financial Ministries Biblical Financial Study for small groups. That's a mouthful. The problem was, I had to go through it before I could lead it, so I searched for a group that was beginning in the next month or so. Most in the area had already started or were not having the study that semester, but I did find one, way across town, that was starting the very next week and it had room for me. I had a real sense of urgency to get in RIGHT NOW--I couldn't wait until January when most churches offered new groups, so I started going, and the first week covered this very topic. God's part vs. my part.

I learned that God is the owner, provider and ruler of everything. Everything. That means that God is the owner of our minivan, our children, our money, our house, and yes, our backyard.

That got the wheels in my head turning. If God owns the house and backyard and everything else, then I own nothing. I learned that the house was not mine to do with as I pleased and if God wanted us to be out of debt and selling the house was His plan, then why not? So I talked with Gabriel about the idea and we decided to pray about it and do some research.

Gabriel and I had been praying for some time that he would be released from his current job and be given something different that enabled him to use more of his skills in mathematics or for him to be able to go back to school to get a master's degree in math. This seemed like a good opportunity--sell the house, go live with one of the set of parents while earning a little as an apprentice to a professor and living below the poverty level. Sounded like so much fun to me, but I said I was open to it all the while confessing that I really didn't want that.

It wasn't long after that discussion that we found the apprenticeship was not an option because of a lack of certain classes, so Gabriel asked, "Do you think we still need to sell the house?" as if the apprenticeship was the reason we were going to sell it in the first place. Well, we decided to spend some more time praying about it and we got some godly counsel from an elder of our church. One night, I had been spending some time in prayer out on the couch while everyone else had already gone to bed. I really wanted an answer before we made this huge decision, but I didn't hear anything. I then decided to go to bed, and as soon as I lay down to go to sleep, I heard God say three words, "Sell the house." (Not audibly, of course.) I told Gabriel the next day and then we had the realtor out with the camera and for sale sign.

We prayed for God's provision for a buyer for the house for 3 months, worked hard to keep it clean (with three kids at home) and ready to show at a moment's notice, painted and fixed what needed repairing. God provided and we were able to pay off all our remaining debt and have a little left over, and we moved in with my parents' house with no idea of what God had in store for us next.

So, in realizing that God is the owner, provider and ruler of everything, even the backyard, what is our job? What are we to do while God does everything else? Are we to be loafers and lazies that can't do anything for themselves? No, we DO have a job, a specific job. We're to be God's managers. The managers of his money and property while it's in our possession and not just any managers, faithful managers.

1 Corinthians 4:2 says "Now a person who is put in charge as a manager must be faithful."

We don't own anything, but we have been given money and possessions to manage for God while we are here on earth. And, because he's still the owner, we need to handle everything for the best interest of the owner, God, and the company, God's kingdom. But what does it mean to be faithful? What do we have to do?

If you joined us in our last study on the fruit of the Spirit, we learned a little about faithfulness. One of the things I took away with me from that is that in order to be faithful, we have to have faith in (and act on) who God is rather than what He does. And we find out about who He is through His word--the things he does change all the time, but He does not change. His character is always the same that that's what we put our faith in. If we have faith that God is good and fulfills His promises then we can trust Him to take care of us and do what He asks us to do.

He tells us what He expects of us, also, in His word, and we will be learning more and more over the course of these next nine weeks what that entails and how to apply it to our lives today, but let's look in Luke to find out what the big deal is....

Luke 12:42-48 [Jesus is speaking to the disciples and crowds and giving a parable about being ready for the master's return and Peter interrupts him by saying "Lord, are you telling this parable to us, or to everyone? this is Jesus' reply:]

"The Lord answered, 'Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. But suppose the servant says to himself, 'My master is taking a long time in coming,' and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers.
That servant who knows his master's will and does nto get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

Jesus is going to return one day, maybe today, maybe tomorrow, we don't know. How are you handling the owner's money and possessions? Are you ready for His return?

We see also in Luke 16:10-13 that how we handle our money directly affects our relationship with Jesus. Following God's word in your finances will help you grow in your trust and friendship with the Lord.

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own? No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

Here is the second part of my story:

We moved in to my parents' two story house around the first of February 2004 not knowing where God was going to put us--we were in limbo, you could say. Not long after the closing on the house, we found out we were expecting baby number four. Let me tell you, I was scared a little bit but thankful Gabriel still had a job and that God had it all under control.

That July, we were looking at apartments near the University of Texas at Arlington where Gabriel was to be taking classes in the fall, and my father passed away unexpectedly. I knew right then God had us there for a reason. I was moved when I realized that God allowed me to have time with my father those last six months and my children to get to know their grandfather. I remember my father had just taught my son, Jacob (who was four at the time) to stand on his shoulders (my father was over 6'2"), and they laughed and had lots of fun together. I felt God had us there to be a comfort to my mother and help her run the house during her mourning and that little Nate's arrival would be a great distraction during the holidays that would be coming, so we decided to remain there indefinitely and stopped looking at apartments.

Two weeks after my father's passing, God released Gabriel from his job. Yea! This was an answer to prayer! Not exactly what we were hoping for--there was no job waiting for him this time and we had no other income, only what was left over after paying off our debt.

Listen to this, we had no home of our own, we were living with my mother. My father had just died, and my husband, the only bread-winner, had just lost his job, and we had our fourth baby on the way. Would this not send any normal person into a bit of a depression if not clinical depression? But, you see, we had no debt, no house payment, no bills piling up because God led us out of all of that before we were hit with all of these trials. That's why I had to get in that Crown small group study RIGHT THEN so that I would understand what God wanted me to let go of to be where God wanted me/us to be in July that next year.

Gabriel received two months of wages as a severance package, and he only had to wait one month before God provided him with another job out in east Plano. We made a profit from his layoff. We remained with my mother through January of '05 and then were able to purchase a modest home in Wylie, TX, to be closer to where Gabriel was working and we have been blessed in so many ways since then--especially with our new friends and family but also new spiritual growth and opportunities to serve we would have never dreamed of--some we had!

All of this because we recognized God's job is not our job and we needed to get our hands out of what he was supposed to be doing--faithfully managing God's money and possessions.

I recommend reading The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn. It's a short read, but it gets right to the point. You won't be disappointed but quite possibly convicted. ;)

The old has past, the new has come...

2009-01-19T21:10:00.002-06:00

Oh, I am so very thankful for January 2009! It's been one full year since I was declared free of the cancer that inhabited my body for those few months in 2007 and the physical healing began after the hysterectomy.

God's done some more healing of my emotions in regard to babies this year as well, and I am so grateful to be able to hold an infant in my arms and not fall apart inside. It just took my allowing Him to do it--all I had to do was let Him. Wow. I'm holding on to my little baby (now 4) a little tighter than I might have otherwise, but I'm merely treasuring the sweetness and sincerity in his heart that shines through his eyes and smile.

I'm so very thankful that these wounds are healing and in the past and a new day and a new year of hope dawns at this very moment. My medi-port was removed at the end of 2008 and my hair is steadily growing back (I SO need a haircut!), and I am only left with a scar to remember that trial.

As I am about to venture out and actually TEACH a Bible study this coming Thursday, I am amazed at what God has done and what He is calling me to do. I know it is nothing I could ever do on my own, but it is He that has given me strength, wisdom, and perseverance to write and prepare a study that I hope and pray will change the lives of many women and their families. I'm humbled and amazed that He would choose me.

Thank you, Lord, for the newness you create in our lives every time we turn around!

2008-12-16T22:24:00.012-06:00

Money

*for women only*

Led by Wendie Beddingfield

Completely customized for the women at New Hope and our community, this study of God's word delves into the different aspects of earning, spending, saving, and attitudes toward this powerful tool God has given us. During the ten weeks of this course, you will not only discover freedom through what God's word says about handling money and possessions but also receive hands-on instruction in applying this knowledge to your daily life.

With understanding taken from the Bible as well as authors like Randy Alcorn, Howard Dayton, Larry Burkett, and Dave Ramsey, Wendie Beddingfield will cover a variety of subjects and focus directly on how God intends women to view and use money. Each week will introduce a new facet of application:

God's job vs. My job, Giving, Work, Spending, Debt, Saving, Honesty, Counsel, Teaching our children, and Investing & Eternal Perspective

Much like a Home Team, you will experience small group discussion, praise and worship, but you will also hear teaching each week on the various topics as well as first-hand testimonies of God's glory and special helps for application. Additional recommended reading is strongly encouraged to enhance understanding and application.

Materials for recommended reading: The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn, Your Money Counts by Howard Dayton, The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, Money, Possessions & Eternity by Randy Alcorn

**In joining this study, you will in no way be required to reveal any of your financial details with either the leader or the members of the group. Confidentiality is mandatory for all members.

Thursdays from 10:00AM to 11:30AM

starting January 22, 2009

Sign up in the lobby at New Hope Jan. 4 and Jan. 11

All classes will be held in the Zone at New Hope. Cost is $3.00 per person. Optional study materials may be purchased in addition to the basic course cost. See order form for more details.

Childcare provided by reservation & requested donation of $2 per child per week.

Money Problems

2008-11-08T09:11:00.005-06:00

In the Christian community we find lots of people who have found victory in many areas like overcoming alcoholism, drug addictions, pornography, infidelity, etc. Many Christians still struggle with these problems, but not every Christian has ever had them. Some have never touched beer or wine or even thought about having an extra-marital affair. However, I see that it is true that the majority of us, both Christians and non-believers have had some kind of problem with money.

I've found that I seem to run in to tons of people who are currently struggling with money issues--being overdrawn, being deep in debt, wanting to give but not having the funds, unable to afford groceries or their mortgage/rent/electricity bill and more. We all have money, or need money or want more of it regardless of how much we have. We can't live in this society without money--it's just not possible.

Now money is different than credit. Contrary to popular belief, you can operate in this society without using credit cards or getting huge loans for cars and homes. I'm not saying that it's all that easy to do, but it can be done, and when we think about how many problems the mortgage loan industry is in (and we're in because of it), not to mention the credit card industry's death grip on many of us---it would seem worth it to stay away from the trap of easy money with credit and "no money down" financing.

Sometimes even people like me, who have found victory in the area of finances, particularly deep credit card debt, still find ourselves being tempted and giving in to using those stupid plastic cards to get what we want without waiting for the money to be there. Yes, I screw up, a lot. But because I know where it will end up if I don't confess my mistakes and ask for forgiveness from God-- I get back on the road to waiting on God's provision and determine to use more self-control by the power of the Holy Spirit. I hate the consequences of screwing up, and I absolutely love the freedom of not having to make payments every month for something that I've already thrown out or digested (if you know what I mean) or at the very least is worth much less than what I financed it for.

"Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender." Proverbs 22:7

Christ said he came to set the captives free--we can't be free if we're offering ourselves as servants to the credit card or finance companies. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."
Galatians 5:1

We all have to use money, but it's how we use it and how we perceive it (is it our security or our tool?) that makes the difference.

Faithfulness

2008-11-03T20:43:00.005-06:00

So, hey, I am in the middle of a very cool Bible study by Beth Moore, and this week's lesson is concerning Faithfulness as an aspect of the fruit of the Spirit.

I'm ALSO working on developing a study on finances, geared toward women only, and this week, I'm working on what it means to be a faithful steward or manager of God's money and "stuff." I've done this thing before, and I know what it means to be a faithful steward--but now it just means so much more! For some reason, I just didn't put together "faithful" and "faithfulness" when it comes to the Holy Spirit and all that history lesson from Hebrews 11 and the long list of faithful people from the OT.

Even with finances, we're called to have faith especially when we can't see what God's going to do or even what the final result is of our saving, spending, giving, etc. We're to listen to God and move forward despite our blind-spot and be faithful with what he's given us and what he's given us to do.

I can only be truly faithful if I have the Holy Spirit within me, allowing Him to reign in my life and show the fruit that He brings forth.

Cool stuff.

Now, if only I can keep this one down to 30 minutes when I teach it in the Spring! :) That's for another lesson--the one on self-control.

First Anniversary

2008-10-29T21:11:00.002-05:00

This day marks the one year anniversary of my diagnosis of choriocarcinoma and the day the whirlwind of testing led to the whirlwind of learning about and acquiring the medications to be taken at home and the chemo drugs I would be given in the office, the out-patient surgery to implant a medi-port, and the beginning of chemo the very next week.

This day is a GOOD day because that's no longer a part of me. Yes, I still have the scar; yes, I still am left in a different state than where I was one year ago; yes, I still have the medi-port; and yes, I still blame my forgetfulness on "chemo brain." But that's not who I am.

This is a GOOD day because I AM ALIVE! I am able to spend this day with my family and friends. I am ABLE to look back and see what Great things the Lord has done in me and through me. I am ABLE to look forward to days ahead in which God will use what I have experienced to encourage and comfort others facing life-threatening illness---and even more!

"This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 118:24

Read the whole psalm here... I SO relate to what he's saying. "I will not die; instead, I will live
to tell what the Lord has done."

I turned 34 yesterday. The time I spent in chemo is a little blip on the screen of a long life. My life here on earth is a blip on the screen of eternity--thankfully, it's only the beginning!

Want to know some more great news??? We paid off all our medical bills on Friday-- just before this anniversary!!! God is SOOO Good!!!

Let us be thankful for this day, for the Lord made it! Let us be joyful and be glad in it, too!! You're alive, and God still wants to use you!!

Psalm 118

1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.

2 Let all Israel repeat:
“His faithful love endures forever.”
3 Let Aaron’s descendants, the priests, repeat:
“His faithful love endures forever.”
4 Let all who fear the Lord repeat:
“His faithful love endures forever.”

5 In my distress I prayed to the Lord,
and the Lord answered me and set me free.
6 The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear.
What can mere people do to me?
7 Yes, the Lord is for me; he will help me.
I will look in triumph at those who hate me.
8 It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in people.
9 It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in princes.

10 Though hostile nations surrounded me,
I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord.
11 Yes, they surrounded and attacked me,
but I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord.
12 They swarmed around me like bees;
they blazed against me like a crackling fire.
But I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord.
13 My enemies did their best to kill me,
but the Lord rescued me.
14 The Lord is my strength and my song;
he has given me victory.
15 Songs of joy and victory are sung in the camp of the godly.
The strong right arm of the Lord has done glorious things!
16 The strong right arm of the Lord is raised in triumph.
The strong right arm of the Lord has done glorious things!
17 I will not die; instead, I will live
to tell what the Lord has done.
18 The Lord has punished me severely,
but he did not let me die.

19 Open for me the gates where the righteous enter,
and I will go in and thank the Lord.
20 These gates lead to the presence of the Lord,
and the godly enter there.
21 I thank you for answering my prayer
and giving me victory!

22 The stone that the builders rejected
has now become the cornerstone.
23 This is the Lord’s doing,
and it is wonderful to see.
24 This is the day the Lord has made.
We will rejoice and be glad in it.
25 Please, Lord, please save us.
Please, Lord, please give us success.
26 Bless the one who comes in the name of the Lord.
We bless you from the house of the Lord.
27 The Lord is God, shining upon us.
Take the sacrifice and bind it with cords on the altar.
28 You are my God, and I will praise you!
You are my God, and I will exalt you!

29 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.

Prayer Relationships

2008-09-16T08:51:00.002-05:00

These past few weeks have been an awesome time for me personally, and it has all come from my time in prayer. Not just by myself, mind you, but of course that is part of it. I've found, through our Women of Hope leaders, two especially dear friends and several others that I love tremendously, and over the last several weeks we have gathered together to pray in large and in small groups. Why do I forget so easily how incredibly wonderful it is to have someone to pray with you on a regular basis? --Not just about things going on in our personal lives but for a purpose other than ourselves.

I remember a dear friend of mine, and unlikely friend I would say (probably 30 years my senior), who encouraged me to lead the women's ministry at New Life Bible Fellowship years ago, before Jacob was born. She committed to join me in prayer weekly as we waited on God for the time I was to step up and continued through the time that she was living in south Dallas. Let me say that I was really not all that interested in having a prayer partner, but I felt like it was something I was supposed to do. There were many days when I would ask God to give me a break and let me do what I wanted to do instead of meeting for prayer, and on occasion he said "ok," but many times he didn't. Want to know why she was such a good friend? Because she prayed with me. She shared her life with me--the good and the bad. She prayed FOR me, too. She knew God and spent time with Him and I could hear it in her prayers when we were together, and I learned so much from her and grew closer to God during that time in my life. It's not anything aside from that really. We didn't go out and do things together; we didn't help each other out all that much; and we didn't have all that much in common except a love for God our husbands and children and the women in our community.

She is what I want to be. I want to be the one who really wants to get together to pray and hold others accountable to do the same--just by being there, praying together, praying for them and their concerns as well as for a greater purpose beyond ourselves.

I feel so close to these ladies that I meet with now because of this prayer time with them--even in such a short time we have known one another. We don't spend hours and hours praying--just about an hour each time we meet. We laugh together, we struggle together, we cry together, and we stand in awe together--before, during and after prayer to our Father.

This understanding of relationships, these special relationships, has got me thinking about my relationships with my children and my husband as well as what things would be like in our church body if more people gathered specifically to pray.....

looks like I need to pray some more.....but that's a GOOD thing! :)

Moments with Kate

2008-09-10T08:40:00.000-05:00

Here's one example of a moment with my almost 12-year old daughter:

Yesterday I was talking with a friend, and Kate asked me how I knew this friend. So I explained to her that she used to live close to us and how we met. My friend, in turn, told Kate that she knew who Kate was only because she looks so much like me.

I can tell you this, Kate does not like it when people tell her that we look so much alike!

Kate then explains to my friend that she's going to go Emo and dye her hair black with a red streak or two.

check it out here if you aren't sure what Emo is----
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_(slang)

I proceeded to tell her that I thought it would be cool to dye my hair black too, like hers, if she did it. Oh, the eye-rolling!!! It was great! I really think I will do it if she dyes hers.

Women of Faith

2008-08-25T13:28:00.000-05:00

Friday night, I was at the Women of Faith conference here in Dallas at the AA Center with a group of women from New Hope Church. Nicole Johnson got up there to do another dramatic presentation centered around moms and portraying our lives like a three-ring circus. I'm still trying to process some of it because I know it hit me pretty hard, emotionally. I wish someone had it on utube or something like that so I could post it here, but it was exceptional, spoken directly, so I thought, to me.

I found this one online that I had seen at a previous WOF conference, and I wanted to share it for any mom/grandmother out there who might be feeling a little invisible or unnoticed.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YU0aNAHXP0

First Day of School

2008-08-25T12:48:00.000-05:00

I SO forgot to take pictures!

I got three children in the car (Jacob, Becca and Nate) to leave for school at 7:00AM this morning!!! Their backpacks, school supplies (since they were forgotten at meet-the-teacher night while I was at Women of Faith), lunch boxes, and each child fully clothed including shoes made it into the van, but unfortunately the camera did not--and I wasn't going back.

***I would talk about the parking lot issues here, but that will have to be another time. ;) We were lucky to be able to get out of the car where we parked--lucky to get OUT of the parking lot altogether!***

Everyone was so excited to go back to school--even Nate brought his lunch box into the elementary school as I took Jacob and Becca to their new classes. Jacob is in the 3rd grade this year and Becca is starting Kindergarten and is probably one of the oldest in her class since I held her back last year. Once the Kindergarten parent orientation (boohoo/yahoo) was over, I drove Nate over to his new class at Mothers Day Out. He REALLY wanted to go back to his old class with Mrs. Waffa and was quite disappointed when I reminded him that he would be in Miss Stacy's class because he was a "big boy" now (you have to be potty-trained to go to Miss Stacy's class). After a big hug from Mrs. Waffa, he walked in with a little pout on his lips into his new class room but was soon engrossed in the little green tractor and farm set on the floor. He hardly said good-bye! He's just going on Mondays this semester because of the new Thursday Bible study that will be starting in September.

Kate, the luckiest 11 year old around (here), didn't have to be at school until 8:15AM, so Gabriel drove her over and dropped her off for school sometime around 7:45AM or 8AM.

It has been several months since I've had an entire day all to myself. The Lord is good! :) I/they made it!

Beth Moore Bible study

2008-08-20T18:44:00.000-05:00

Hi ladies!

I just wanted to send out a quick invitation to each of you who live nearby for a women's Bible study starting in September. I will be facilitating it with several small group leaders for the small group discussion time.

Details:

What: Living Beyond Yourself by Beth Moore
(topic--fruits of the Spirit)

Where: New Hope Church, Wylie, TX

When: Thursdays at 9:30AM to 11:30AM starting 9/11/08

Who: Any woman in Wylie or surrounding area who would like to attend is welcome

Cost: Workbooks are $15.00 Other: We are offering child care by reservation (small donation requested)

If you know you would like to participate, please let me know so that I can reserve a workbook (and child care if needed) for you! Also, feel free to shoot me any questions or comments you might have--would love to hear from you! My e-mail is wendie@teuton.org.

Many blessings,

Wendie

Becca's birthday party

2008-08-19T15:03:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Becca!
Our little Becca has now turned 6! She thought she didn't actually become 6 until she had her party, so now she REALLY is SIX!

Nate couldn't wait for the cake and of course he had to help Becca open all her wonderful gifts. :)

Here, Becca and her friends are playing animal charades. What was Becca? A Lizard!

I would have thought Jacob would have been able to get the topping on the ice cream cone better than the smaller children, but I think he got it on George's nose instead! Jacob also helped us out by being our party DJ for all our fun children's songs.

Kate helped out so much even though she wanted to be a "party pooper." She had some not-so-flattering pictures from the party that I thought probably shouldn't appear for just anyone to see, so I'm adding a pic I took of her last Friday.

I'm really happy Becca had a good time, and I think her friends did, too, but I'm glad to be able to rest up a bit before Nate's 4th birthday comes along!

I hate "diets"

2008-06-30T11:12:00.000-05:00

After gaining way too much weight following my chemotherapy and hysterectomy and after some wonderful encouragement from our pastor on self-discipline, I've finally committed to start the South Beach diet again. Gabriel has thankfully decided to join me.

Personally, I hate "diets," restrictions on "what" you can eat, counting calories, fat grams, etc, etc. However, I do see that I need more self-discipline, I need to eat more healthy foods, and if someone has come up with a plan I can adopt for myself and my family that will help me to develop good, healthy habits and help me to lose weight, I'm going to use that plan.

But...I still hate diets.

Stress or Relief?

2008-06-09T14:20:00.000-05:00

Okay, I cry when I'm stressed.

So I went to my oncologist (gynecologic oncologist to be specific) this morning expecting the wait to be horrendous as usual on Mondays, and I was not disappointed. Almost two hours later, two hours of reading through boring magazines in a room full of women either worrying they have cancer, dealing with the treatments or waiting impatiently to check to make sure they don't have a recurrence, the nurse finally calls my name.

Then, what do you know, my blood pressure was way up--go figure! And, the nurse gave me a look when I gave her a description of some pain I had been having--like, wow, this could be a totally new cancer! My mind started to go places it hadn't been since October when I was first diagnosed. "Lord, please let it be nothing!" I was going over in my mind. Just the stress of waiting in the "waiting room" for the doctor to do a quick once-over brought me to the point of tears even before he entered the room, but I so graciously staved them off. So, when it came to the exam and the questions, I couldn't stop them anymore--even when the doctor said, "well, I think you're cured---let's just chalk this one up as cured," it seemed that it really didn't matter. (Well, for me, I KNEW I was already cured, but it still didn't keep the nerves from tying themselves up in knots...or...could it have possibly have been tears of relief? No, not tears of relief, but tears TO relieve. However, there is a certain relief when you get through the doctor's appointment and there is no new list of things to test for or have treatment for--I won't deny that!

For those of you keeping up with my progress: I've been through 6 months of having an HCG level of <2, so I don't have to get another blood test until August! Hooray!

And...I'm starting to get used to the hair. Maybe one of these days I'll post a new picture so that you can recognize me. ;)

Recognition

2008-05-13T15:23:00.000-05:00

Have you ever just wanted to go through life without anyone recognizing you?

There have been many times I have, but I'm done with that now. No one ever recognizes me anymore, so I'm getting used to it, but I'm also hoping it will be less and less of an issue.

I just put my photo on the profile. I don't have too many pictures of myself, but my sweet husband did get a couple pics before my hair fell out during my chemotherapy this past fall. It came out by the handfuls, but I had A LOT of hair, so it took a while for it to be noticeable. When there were too many large bare spots, I bought a wig and scarves, and I had my hairdresser shave it all off for me. That was the beginning. Very few people recognized me with the new do (the wig), and even fewer with the scarves. When they began to recognize me wearing scarves more of the time, it actually became time for me to go without because my hair had begun to fill in once the chemo was completed. It's been two months now that I have ditched the scarves and the wig, but I can still walk by friends and acquaintances without them even knowing it was me who said "hi" to them.

I am EXTREMELY thankful for those friends who call me by name to show me that they know who I am. There are many of you out there, and I want you to know that you are very much appreciated, but I'd like to encourage you to remember to say the person's name as you talk with them...giving them the recognition and honor to show you care. They may not have the same issues I'm writing of here, but just as you are impressed with someone you hardly know remembering your name, they will be just as delighted to know that you cared enough to remember their name and say it aloud.

Right to choose...

2008-05-13T11:03:00.000-05:00

I'm not generally one to enter political conversations if I can get away with it, but I've been thinking on this for a while now.

I have heard from many sources in our "circle of influence"--many of whom are Bible-believing Christians like myself--that they have already decided to vote for Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton or have spouted the idea that we (the collective church body in the US) should vote for the "best man" for the job rather than our "favorite theologian." Makes sense if you just look at it as a "J.O.B."

However, one of the lasting legacies a president of the United States has is the appointment of justices to the Supreme Court. And many of the decisions made by the Supreme Court have a lasting effect on this country, our rights and freedoms, that if left in the hands of a select group of adults who promote the killing of little babies in the womb for convenience of the mother and abhor the idea of capital punishment of serial killers, our political leaders then are presented with a steep, uphill battle to correct those decisions.

Also, these democratic "best men" hold fast to the idea that the government owes the people a hand-out in a vast array of areas of life that make the people of this country angry when they don't receive these various benefits. These "best men" make the citizens believe they must look to the government to solve their problems than to depend on our most generous God or even to work hard to earn food to put on their tables.

I just can't in good conscience vote for a candidate that holds fast to any of these ideas--even if my only other choice is "my favorite theologian."

Thoughts on children....

2008-05-12T10:49:00.000-05:00

This morning I had planned to meet up with a friend to talk about how my husband and I have raised our children. She loves the fact that our youngest two were so well behaved for her that she, I suppose, thinks we've figured out the secret to raising wonderful kids. LOL! (Little does she know!) :)

Anyway, here's where some of the application comes in, our youngest has not been feeling extremely well as of late (tummy trouble). So, in watching him this morning as I was getting the children ready for mother's day out, I decided I would take him with me instead and then bring him home afterward. However, this morning was also "Muffins With Mom" day at MDO, and my 5-year old daughter was going to attend MDO, so I thought, "okay, bananas only for Nate, and he should be okay if we only go for a little while." Well, we got through breakfast and I left with Nate to go to Starbucks to meet up with my friend--with a mini-stop at the grocery store for the BRAT foods he needed to keep his little tummy nourished, but calm.

The grocery store trip went well, but we walk into Starbucks and almost immediately, Nate shows obvious signs of losing his bananas (if you know what I mean), so we take off even though my friend had not arrived yet. And wouldn't you know it, we (my husband and I) don't carry cell phones so I went straight home to call her and let her know we'd have to reschedule. On the way back, I was listening a radio broadcast where the speaker was talking about how children are God's gift to us as parents. Just a wonderful reminder when our plans get changed because of one of these little "gifts."

Nathaniel (his name means gift from God, BTW) is fine. I think he really appreciates that he is home today without all the movin' and groovin'.

One of the things you learn as a parent is to take the signs and adjust your schedule, your priorities, and/or sometimes your attitude. Sometimes we're called to adjust THEIR attitude instead! But, we're always to remember that they are indeed God's GIFT to us and not a burden. Just as my dh is blogging on marriage and how tough it can be, raising children is no "walk in the park." No, you don't get days off (except on rare occasions), and you have to be on your toes to be ready to adjust to schedules, illnesses, attitudes, and responsibilities without placing blame or stressing out--it just comes with the territory!