What Do You Want?

Like many moms, I find myself choosing to take a back seat to my children's wants and needs.  I also put my husband's and friends' wants and needs above my own.

Philippians 2:3-4 says to 

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others."

I first understood this to mean that I naturally come last in the order of who's wants and needs get the priority.  But that's not exactly what it says.  The words "not only" are staring me in the face--actually the one word ONLY.  I've been overlooking that one word for close to 16 years.

Of course there have been many times when I've looked to my own interest, but when I've convinced myself that I'm not as valuable or my interests are not as valuable as my children or my husband, then I've begun to believe an outright lie.   I've been living with that lie for too long!  The truth is that my interests are valuable.  The truth is that I AM valuable.  The truth is that YOU are valuable, too!

So this past year for me has been the beginning of asking the questions: "What do I want?" "What are my interests?"  And most of all recognizing that I and my interests are as valuable as my kids' or my husbands' even as a stay-at-home-mother of four.  Not more valuable or more important but AS valuable and AS important.

How about you?  Do you know that YOU and YOUR interests are as valuable to God as others in your life?  

So....What do YOU want?

Do you know?


Stay tuned for more to unfold.....




~Wendie Beddingfield

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I look forward to it just as I have looked forward to Father's Day for the past 8 years.... in dread of the reminder that I am now without.  It was once a joy to get to celebrate both my mother's birthday and Mother's Day, but right now, I will do my best to enjoy it for my children, my mother-in-law and for my sweet grandmother.  

I took some time this morning to attempt at the creative again, and this is what I wrote...


Am I My Mother's Daughter?

Oh, she worked so hard!
Up way too early in the morning
To care for her four-legged friends,
Only ceasing when she could no longer physically get up.

Daily, she toiled at the clinic to secure the benefits
For the disease that would quickly claim her life.
Coming home again to enjoy the dream that was now reality,
But without the one she desired to share it.

Four-legged friends sold off one by one,
But the favored one, the favored one remains...
Waiting to be passed on to her daughter's daughter.
There, the dream lies dormant; will it arise in her one day?

Father and mother, where have you gone?
Where is the dream now?

The home built with Daddy now being readied for market,
Brother and sisters waiting for execution; waiting.
Waiting to begin again the strife over the dream left over
In things and Sentimentality.

Oh, she wanted equality,
But little did she know how agonizing equality would be!
That money and land would release the hearts
Of the dearly remaining ones.

Did you see?  Could you have known?
The dream left is a stumbling block,
A catalyst for dismemberment
Of the family you loved.

Am I my mother's daughter?
Where will MY dream be when I am gone?

by Wendie Beddingfield

Wow, I don't really remember the last time I posted on this blog, but I want to go back to putting some things on here that are just from me personally and not any group I'm working with.

This past weekend I attended a leaders' retreat, and before this weekend we were all encouraged to work on our creative side and bring something we created to present to the group.  Well, I'm not generally using my creative side and sometimes think I don't have much creativity at all, but I sat down a few weeks ago and determined that I would write a poem about where I've been these last few months, how God has been working on me, and how I see it all.

TIDE

They are not pleasant,

Nor beautiful nor peaceful,

These visions of the one who bore me into the

World, gasping for life's last breath.

Saline drops line cheeks.

Eyes tighten.

Grief floods in waves, tide rolls in,

And the losing-pain stings as

Salt in the wound loosely bound.

Not grieving as one without hope--

Just as one without “Momma.”

Early memories of health and joy

Winnowed out by weakened limbs and empty eyes.

Wishing not to have witnessed

But thankful to be present—bittersweet.

Prayers of grateful regret.

Broken-heart healing, wound re-opened,

Cleansed and bound again.

Father-surgeon bandages knowing the hurt.

Divine saline touches cheek from above.

Daddy's eyes tighten, tide rolls out.

By Wendie Beddingfield

Leadership Coaching

"Why do I need life-coaching? I'm able to hear God and figure out what he wants me to do all by myself. That's for people who have no clue."

That's what I thought whenever someone mentioned I might want to talk to a person she knew who helped people through coaching. I was in the throws of not knowing exactly what God wanted me to do when I was considering getting some seminar training (to lead seminars for a particular ministry) but I was unable to finish the last task of the application process for some weird reason. I was praying, seeking God, and then I had a dream I believe was from God that cleared up some of the questions and gave me motivation and clarity to move forward into a new avenue of ministry and focus.

So, in this particular case, yes, I was able to hear God and figure out what he wants me to do with his help, but I've recently found an incredible benefit of this life-coaching that I've never even thought about previously.

I was asked several months ago to consider getting some training with a group of people in our church to coach others in leadership--especially those leading home teams or community groups as they are now called at New Hope. I was originally interested in getting one (a leadership coach) for me! I was one of those leaders (am one) who needs someone to listen to me, to encourage me and help me stay motivated to keep serving, but I never considered that I might be one of those people who could facilitate that also.

Fast forward to today....So, now I'm 8 weeks into the class; just 2 more to go. I have a peer-coach of my own who I also coach as our way of working out what we've learned and getting some good experience before we are released to try our own "powerful questions" and listening skills on other leaders. :) You know, I have never been so hopeful about a certain area of my life that I've been wanting to change for years. I have had the information in my head, and I even know what has worked for me in the past. However, I have been missing some very vital components for this transformation to happen that I am now receiving through my peer-coach's willingness to help me focus on accomplishing this goal!

Yes, it's early. I've only been officially working on this goal for a couple weeks, but I have my coach for at least 3 months and I'm going to take full advantage of her! There are other areas in my life that I have been wanting to see a change--like in my daily time with God in prayer and Bible study and just listening and journaling. Just because I know I will be asked every week how that is going and I know that I will need to be specific and give reasons why I didn't get to it because my peer-coach is standing in for God and is Jesus' representative to me--I'm sticking to it and REALLY enjoying it and hearing God speak to me on a regular basis. That is just the beginning, but I'm trying to keep it fairly simple to start with and celebrate the successes as they come.

I set my own goal; I set my own action steps; and I accomplish so much more already than by just saying to myself that "I need to start doing that."

I'll try to keep you posted, but if you have the opportunity to meet with a life-coach or a leadership coach who trusts in God to speak to his people, act now! Don't delay!

***I also want to put at the end of this a special thanks to Kristi Westergard who listened to God and brought the vision of leadership coaching to New Hope and Karen Bontrager who is an excellent teacher and coach herself. You two ladies have indeed brought something very special to me--focus, energy and motivation to accomplish a life-altering goal!

Bible Studies

We had some really great discussion about raising our kids to know what God's word says about handling money and possessions and then the next week on investing, especially in heavenly treasure! God's really been working on Gabriel and I in the area of disciplining our children, allowing them to feel the weight of the consequences of their actions (without feeling the responsibility to save them/or guilt either). Oooohhh, have we been tried recently!

We had our last meeting on Thursday and will be celebrating our victory of getting through it with a brunch this week on Thursday at 10AM.

On the 16th, we'll be starting a very informal Bible study at my home at 10AM--kids in tow. We'll be going over the first part of the book called Desiring God's Own Heart: 1 & 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles (The New Inductive Study Series) by Kay Arthur. I have twelve books on order if anyone wants me to reserve a copy--the cost is $5.75 each. I believe you can also pick them up at your local Christian book store for a slightly higher cost. As I said, we'll only be studying the first part of the book, or just 1 Samuel, so we can finish by the time school is out for the year. It is very easy to continue on with the study on your own, and I would encourage you to do so during the summer months when most groups will not be meeting regularly.

Click here to get more information on the study guide.