Leadership Coaching

"Why do I need life-coaching? I'm able to hear God and figure out what he wants me to do all by myself. That's for people who have no clue."

That's what I thought whenever someone mentioned I might want to talk to a person she knew who helped people through coaching. I was in the throws of not knowing exactly what God wanted me to do when I was considering getting some seminar training (to lead seminars for a particular ministry) but I was unable to finish the last task of the application process for some weird reason. I was praying, seeking God, and then I had a dream I believe was from God that cleared up some of the questions and gave me motivation and clarity to move forward into a new avenue of ministry and focus.

So, in this particular case, yes, I was able to hear God and figure out what he wants me to do with his help, but I've recently found an incredible benefit of this life-coaching that I've never even thought about previously.

I was asked several months ago to consider getting some training with a group of people in our church to coach others in leadership--especially those leading home teams or community groups as they are now called at New Hope. I was originally interested in getting one (a leadership coach) for me! I was one of those leaders (am one) who needs someone to listen to me, to encourage me and help me stay motivated to keep serving, but I never considered that I might be one of those people who could facilitate that also.

Fast forward to today....So, now I'm 8 weeks into the class; just 2 more to go. I have a peer-coach of my own who I also coach as our way of working out what we've learned and getting some good experience before we are released to try our own "powerful questions" and listening skills on other leaders. :) You know, I have never been so hopeful about a certain area of my life that I've been wanting to change for years. I have had the information in my head, and I even know what has worked for me in the past. However, I have been missing some very vital components for this transformation to happen that I am now receiving through my peer-coach's willingness to help me focus on accomplishing this goal!

Yes, it's early. I've only been officially working on this goal for a couple weeks, but I have my coach for at least 3 months and I'm going to take full advantage of her! There are other areas in my life that I have been wanting to see a change--like in my daily time with God in prayer and Bible study and just listening and journaling. Just because I know I will be asked every week how that is going and I know that I will need to be specific and give reasons why I didn't get to it because my peer-coach is standing in for God and is Jesus' representative to me--I'm sticking to it and REALLY enjoying it and hearing God speak to me on a regular basis. That is just the beginning, but I'm trying to keep it fairly simple to start with and celebrate the successes as they come.

I set my own goal; I set my own action steps; and I accomplish so much more already than by just saying to myself that "I need to start doing that."

I'll try to keep you posted, but if you have the opportunity to meet with a life-coach or a leadership coach who trusts in God to speak to his people, act now! Don't delay!

***I also want to put at the end of this a special thanks to Kristi Westergard who listened to God and brought the vision of leadership coaching to New Hope and Karen Bontrager who is an excellent teacher and coach herself. You two ladies have indeed brought something very special to me--focus, energy and motivation to accomplish a life-altering goal!

Bible Studies

We had some really great discussion about raising our kids to know what God's word says about handling money and possessions and then the next week on investing, especially in heavenly treasure! God's really been working on Gabriel and I in the area of disciplining our children, allowing them to feel the weight of the consequences of their actions (without feeling the responsibility to save them/or guilt either). Oooohhh, have we been tried recently!

We had our last meeting on Thursday and will be celebrating our victory of getting through it with a brunch this week on Thursday at 10AM.

On the 16th, we'll be starting a very informal Bible study at my home at 10AM--kids in tow. We'll be going over the first part of the book called Desiring God's Own Heart: 1 & 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles (The New Inductive Study Series) by Kay Arthur. I have twelve books on order if anyone wants me to reserve a copy--the cost is $5.75 each. I believe you can also pick them up at your local Christian book store for a slightly higher cost. As I said, we'll only be studying the first part of the book, or just 1 Samuel, so we can finish by the time school is out for the year. It is very easy to continue on with the study on your own, and I would encourage you to do so during the summer months when most groups will not be meeting regularly.

Click here to get more information on the study guide.

Pictures of the children

Last Two Sessions -- from Money (for women only)

We're in the home stretch--just two more weeks of our Bible study on handling money and possessions! Are you hanging in there? Have you seen some fruit in your financial and/or personal life? Care to share????

We'll be covering an important aspect of finances that many of us went without as children--teaching our children the truth that we've learned from God's word about money and possessions. Even if you don't have children or they are fully grown and out of the house, you can still receive some great insight into discipling others and sharing His truth with others that have not heard these truths yet.

Next week, I'd love to have each of you share one or more of the blessings you have received or witnessed through this study. Maybe share a goal or two that you have for the future and the steps you plan to take as you reach for those goals. We're all on a journey toward growing closer to God, and none of us has reached the end, so let's encourage one another on to good deeds and following God's will for our lives and sharing with others the great things He has done! Be thinking of what you might like to share!

(note: this is not required but requested)

Counsel -- from Money (for women only)

This week we're talking about seeking counsel or advice.

As women from this generation and the last few generations, we have been raised, in general, to be independent. Our teachers, our parents and mentors have encouraged us and the women's lib movement has taught us that we don't "need" a man or anyone else, that we are just as good or better than men. We're encouraged to get degrees and careers and focus on ourselves, to be dependent upon no one but ourselves. Now, parents raising their children, whether boys or girls, to be independent from their parents, to learn and grow and then let go, are serving their children well. However, we can swing to the far end of the pendulum in our Independence by not letting anyone help us or give us counsel or advice--especially in the sensitive area of personal finances.

Okay ladies, let's say your precious child or your dear pet gets sick and you don't know what to do for him. What do you do? You make an appointment with a doctor or a veterinarian so that he can take a look and make a diagnosis of the problem and prescribe treatment so that your child or pet can get better. Or, you go to books or the Internet to see if you can diagnose the problem yourself by seeking information that other people have written and made available to you. I have this book called The Portable Pediatrician that I went to all the time when any of my children were sick or hurt or something was just "not right." I've had the book since my daughter, Kate was an infant--about twelve years, and I'd always go back and check the information to see if it was something that I needed a professional's opinion and prescription for because I wasn't trained in medicine and I didn't have all the knowledge to make a good diagnosis or the ability to write a prescription for medication if necessary.

Even when our child or pet is well, we still make regular well-child visits or check-ups for them just to make sure that they are developing properly and that we aren't missing anything that might be detrimental to their health. We may not necessarily do this for ourselves, but these children or pets are entrusted to us and they depend on us to take good care of them. Our money and possessions have also been entrusted to us, girls, and we need to understand that we don't have all the information to make wise decisions all the time regarding these. Many times we need to seek the counsel of God as well as others in order to know the best course of action.

There are many different counselors and many different ways to receive counsel.

God is to be your #1 Counselor.

• Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths." Keep on reading further in Proverbs 3, and you'll find even more relevant information on seeking His counsel.
  

• John 14:16-17 "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor [Comforter, Encourager or Advocate], who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth."

• God's word is our counselor: Psalm 119:97-105 says, "Oh, how I love your law! I think about it all day long. Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for your commands are my constant guide. Yes, I have more insight than my teachers, for I am always thinking of your decrees. I am even wiser than my elders, for I have kept your commandments. I have refused to walk on any path of evil, that I may remain obedient to your word. I haven't turned away from your laws, for you have taught me well. How sweet are your words to my taste; they are sweeter than honey. Your commandments give me understanding; no wonder I hate every false way of life. Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path." This is not saying that you always have to do the right thing or never stray off that path, but a life focused on God and His word will help you to stay on that path. Just like a lantern lights our way in a dark forest for only a few steps in front of us, God's word may only light our way a few steps so we have to keep trusting Him every step of the way!

• Our Spouse is to be our #1 earthly counselor. When we are married, we become one flesh, one person with our spouse. We don't lose our identity, we become whole with him. When we make a financial decision, our husbands will be directly affected by that decision--the "bigger" the decision, the bigger the impact. This is why it is so important to keep up a good line of communication with our husbands especially in the area of finances where we struggle so much in our marriages. When you have an idea or want to make a decision about spending, saving, giving or just in budgeting, the best thing to do is to approach your spouse by letting him know what you've been thinking or what you would like to do and then just ask him what he thinks about it. Give him the opportunity to give his perspective, to ask questions and to even support you in that decision or give you new insight where you didn't necessarily see the entire picture. Even if it is merely to honor your husband, seek his counsel, and once you both have presented your sides and you have done your part, the final decision is ultimately in the hands of your husband. If it is not a godly decision, we are called to submit to our husbands anyway, but God will honor that submission and take care of you. (No, "I told you so's." I know I DO have a hard time not saying it, too!)
  

• Our parents are also counselors to seek out. Whether they have a relationship with Jesus Christ or not, we should honor them by going to them, especially when making a difficult or major decision. Proverbs 23:22 says, "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don't despise your mother's experience when she is old. Get the truth and don't ever sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and discernment. The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure it is to have wise children. So give your parents joy! May she who gave you birth be happy." This doesn't say that the parents are necessarily wise, but the children are wise. Listen to your father and seek out your mother's experience and advice. You don' t have to follow it, but you will honor them by asking.

Here are more wonderful passages that talk about seeking counsel:

Proverbs 20:18 "Plans succeed through good counsel; don't go to war without the advice of others."

Proverbs 24:6 "So don't go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many counselors."

Proverbs 25:11 "Timely advice is as lovely as golden apples in a silver basket." I picture a white linen-covered table and in the center is a silver, wire basket or bowl that contains gold-colored apples--something you might see in a still-life painting. Peaceful, beautiful, enticing. Notice that it says "timely" advice. You can give good advice to someone else, but if you are not sensitive to the Holy Spirit and God's timing, you can make it out to be something very ugly. However, when you wait for the proper time, and many times that will only be when you are ASKED for your advice, will it be received and it be this beautiful picture.

Proverbs 27:9 "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." Many times you really have to have a trusting relationship in order to be able to give advice our counsel to someone. The person you are counseling needs to know that you have their best interests at heart before it will be received as this sweet perfume mentioned in this proverb. Sometimes we are called to just keep our mouths shut.

It can go the other direction, though, too. Proverbs 25:19 says that "Putting confidence in an unreliable person is like chewing with a toothache or walking on a broken foot." Painful. It is wise to seek the counsel of experts in a particular area, like doctors or lawyers or even financial advisers. However, we must remember that they are not necessarily walking in the will of God and can direct you in a path other than what God wants for you. We are to go to these people to get the necessary information to make a decision in light of what God's word says.

The main goal here is for us to humble ourselves before God and before others and seek out advice even if we think we've got it covered. You honor those from whom you seek counsel


Click here for this week's Bible study sheet: Counsel

***There will be no Bible study next Thursday, March 19, due to Spring Break in Wylie.***


We're reading in Money, Possessions & Eternity by Randy Alcorn through the end of the study. These next two weeks would be the perfect time to really get into this book. It has SOOOO much that will really make you think and speak to your heart. Please don't let this book intimidate you--just read a little at a time, but "steady plodding" will get you through it, and you will really love it!